Thursday, August 10, 2006

Above All

Okay, today my good friend Eric published a post about being a Christian, and I loved it. It was raw, and powerful, and beautiful. It was inspiring.

Then, another friend of mine, Nate, left a comment on it that I could only take offensively. I got angry, and I told him off the best I knew how without exploding it a sea of profanities. I was mad, pissed, and angry, and I couldn't get it out of my system.

Then I angrily told Jared how mad I was.

Then, I got a comment from a friend who I hadn't talked to since the beginning of the summer. Why? Because I was mad at her too. And I was mad at my brother today, just because he annoys me sometimes. And I was just mad. Then, all at once, as if I was washed clean of it, it was gone. I wasn't mad. I read one of Eric's old posts, and he talked about how a lot of people saw him as a great guy, super nice, all that jazz, and he didn't understand it. Then there was a rush of comments reasuring him that he was so loved.

There's been a million times I brushed off something he was saying, or swore at him, and was just a jerky friend. And I'm not proud of that. I love Eric. He is my best friend. He's smart, funny, inspiring, and often on fire for God. He's told me before that he was jealous of me, and now -I- don't know why, because truth be told, Eric is exactly who I wish I could be. He's awesome, and to take him for granted might be the worst thing anyone could do.

I doubt that I'm his best friend, like he is mine, but I don't care, as long as we can always be friends, because I know, there's no way I could ever deserve a friend like him, and there's no one in the world I'd rather have as my best friend.

I'm sorry everyone that I get mad for little things. It seems I'm always caught in some inhuman rage, that wont go away. But I promise to you now, that this isn't me, and that even when my unimportant anger gets in my way, you, you my friends will always be the most important people in my life. I'm so sorry if I ever lead you to believe otherwise.

I love you guys and girls. You make me who I am, and you're behind every good thing I do. Even if I can't say it through words, or even actions, I hope you can see through my anger into my heart, and forgive me.

And Eric, thanks so much for being the best friend ever.



Blogger Eric said...

I don't even know what to say...
I love you Dave.

10:00 PM  
Blogger Eric said...

And I totally get that part about the anger.

For my it's my violent depression. When I'm in that mode, I cannot be helped.

But I am always still willing to help.

7:35 AM  
Blogger Hidden One said...

I'm praying for you, Dave.

6:13 PM  
Blogger Eric said...

Dave and Eric. Eric and Dave. We're a team, now, lets fight some crime!

12:03 PM  

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