Three Nails

Unbelievable!

It's been awhile. Mainly because I haven't had much of import to rant about. But that changed when I was talking to my best friend, with whom I haven't spoken in quite some time.

In our conversation, he gave me some rather shocking and appalling details, which I will try to reproduce with some discretion here.

My friend was talking lately to a mutual acquaintance (of whom he would not give the name)--a Christian whom I used to attend church with before my conversion to Catholicism. This person told my friend that she would frequently engage in "Friends with Benefits", and I mean, all the benefits which that term implies. Thing is, she still considers herself a good Christian. Moreover, she told my friend that she knows several other persons from this same church who engage in similar activities!

Here's the kicker: this person fails to see that what they are doing is in any way sinful! She thinks that God's law against extra-marital sex is a guideline or a suggestion so that people don't take it to extremes. I'm sorry, but to what extreme can one take it if not to "Friends with Benefits" i.e. sexual relations with someone with whom you aren't even in a committed relationship--let alone married?!

Anyway, in the course of this conversation, our mutual acquaintance proceeded to ask my friend about my well-being, to which my friend could only reply that he didn't really know as we hadn't talked in several months. She then asked him what he thought of my conversion to Catholicism, and when he gave a not-quite-affirming reply yet a not-judgemental one, either, she proceeded to hypothetically inquire, "I just can't understand how Greg could trade a relationship with Jesus for 'religion'." At this statement, my friend assures me that he almost punched her head in!

So, as you might be able to see, this simply could not go without comment!

First of all, how is it that an alleged "born again" evangelical Christian can completely disregard basic Christian morality, and still consider themselves Christian? I mean, one of the reasons I left Protestantism was because of its inclination toward doctrinal relativism--but I had thought that this particular denomination, this particular church, wouldn't have sunk all the way to moral relativism as well! Does no one teach about sin anymore?!

Second, how can this same person then turn around and judge my own faith--which she knows absolutely nothing about, evidently, by saying that I don't have a relationship with Jesus simply because I am "religious"? These two ideas, as I have written elsewhere on this blog, are not mutually exclusive. I am not perfect, and I struggle with sin--a lot (including, apparently, a greater desire for gossip than I realised, since I had the overwhelming desire to learn just who this person was, though my friend wisely and with the utmost integrity refused to tell me)--but I still recognise that it is sin, and I still attempt to struggle with it! In spite of that, I still believe that I have a relationship with Jesus--a close friendship even. And my "Religion" doesn't obstruct that; it aids the relationship, it focusses and defines it. And if nothing else, it reminds me clearly that there are certain things that My Friend does not approve of--things that, if persisted in, will actually destroy our friendship.

Jesus said, "You are My friends, if you do what I command you" (John 15:14), not "You are my friends, go do whatever you want, it's your life."

Jesus is my Friend, but He is also the King and Lawgiver, who demands holiness of us. Friendship is indeed contingent on obedience--and that doesn't seem to be getting through to the very people who claim to have a relationship with Him while denying my own.

Brennan Manning once said, "The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge God with their lips, and walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable."

And really, I don't blame them.

Faceless Angel redone

Remember my picture Faceless Angel?

http://thethreenails.blogspot.com/2006/10/faceless-angel.html

Yes you do. Well, while I was in the mood of redoing old favourites, I figured it was fair to redo my all-time favourite.

Tell. What do you think?

~Rayless

Destroyed

I've posted three times in the past week and no one's checked or commented except those I have given the URL to. So with that in mind, I'm going to write something.

My life has taken an interesting turn. Until this past year, it's been nothing, with the occasional something. I would be constantly available, and every no and then I would do something or hang out with someone. This is the person I was. Though I enjoyed pretending, God was not a part of my life.

Now, my life is always something with the rare occasional nothing. It almost depresses me. I seemed like the person who never had anything happen to them. No one came to me with big issues. I was no one's rock. No one knew me. No one depended on me. No one loved me. No one expected anything of me.

Now I work. Now the pressures of school are most dire. Now I'm in love, and the woman I love needs me. Now I feel so lost. When I was free all the time to think and be myself, life was like a blank canvas. I could do or be anything I wanted. I could sculpt the path in whatever way I saw fit. But now my schedule- my cluttered canvas- is full. Now my life seems written, and the only thing left for me is to act it out. It seems like the only thing that keeps me alive is the fact the Rebecca loves me. It's the only thing I want to act out. But everything else breaks my spirit.

I know I'm inexperienced, and I haven't seen the world, and I haven't met enough people, and I haven't tried enough things...but it seems like I've done everything. Like there's nothing else but the work and the money. Like the school and the homework. Payments on the car and the house. Saving for retirement. Giving up.

This routine frustrates me to tears. And what's even worse is that the routine is the only thing I desire. I need things to be planned and perfect. Spontaneous fun is no longer an option for me really.

These are the things that ruin my life. These are the things that hurt me.

But there is more to my life that I also can dream about at the end of the day.

My family, though a weathered and broken one is still a family. And family is perhaps the most treasured value to us. Though we can be angry with one another, and perhaps even want nothing to do with one another, we'd also never let harm come to one another. I feel a safety in this.

And my friends. People who are like me. People who want me around. People who talk about me, and would call me to try to spend time together. People who care about my well being, and would never allow our ties to just vanish. People who would fight for me. Makes me feel like I have some impact on the world for just being myself.

And finally, I can sleep at night, and persist at work and school solely because there's a girl in this world who has the missing part of me. Rebecca is the one I love. Rebecca is the one I'd die for. No one is perfect, but she is perfect for me. Everything about her is everything I need to live. And above all that, she loves me more than I could ever imagine. She saved me from this cluttered canvas that destroys me.

Let me tell you all what I need now.

God made me as a stupid idiot who cannot understand the subtleties of His words. I'm the kind of man who needs to hear a big booming voice, or a burning bush to show me the way. And until that day, I'm going to need something, or someone to just help me understand.

I'm sad about who I am. But that sadness cannot compare to the joy of all of you. The things you've given me. It cannot compare to her love.

Maybe no one can understand this due to the tone of my writing, but I am a happy man.

Happy to be alive.

Elite Redone

Any of you remember that Elite from Halo I drew a million years ago?

http://thethreenails.blogspot.com/2006/07/what-have-these-brutes-done.html

Well ladies and gentlemen, be prepared for the EPIC REDO!

WHOA!

Tell me what you think.

~Rayless~

Survivor

Hey ladies and mans. I drew this guy with a pen I got from an art place. I didn't draw it first in pencil, I just went to town. I know I messed up on some stuff, but I hardly care about that now because he looks pretty crazy-sweet.

Survivor of a zombie uprising you say? Correct. This probably wont turn into anything, but it's cool to look at.

Greg, I dedicate this to you. You sort of taught me the little I know. And I know it's kind of fail, and some parts don't make sense, but if it's any cool, it's because you sort of taught me.

~Dave